An open letter to a lover I once knew

17/09/2007

We lost electricity for 25 minutes. It was a break from work and I lay down on the bed downstairs in complete darkness.

Listening to the torrid rain outside, I imagined how beautiful and lovely a thought of having you lie next to me, cuddling up your head on my shoulder (armpit, I know that's what you prefer). And for a strong 25 minutes I had imagined as if it were true. Lying there in complete darkness with you next to me in that very big bed, caught up with no electricity and no words needed to be uttered. The only sound was the torrid rain from the storm outside, echoing against our silence - that of between two lovers and enemies. I found great comfort in that thought and how I imagined caressing your skin with a slight touch, slow movements, and I'd imagine hearing you breathing slowly against my skin.

The wait is taking so long. I took a break from my work thinking of you, only of you and how great a person you are; and how much you've changed in me and will change. The descriptions are beyond words. Beyond adjectives, superlatives, expressions. Those 25 minutes if it were reality would be the best 25 minutes in my life.

No words needed to be exchanged between two lovers madly in love, lying in bed with no movement except heavy breathing and a silent caress. My comfort is always with you whenever I go to bed, I sleep with you -- imagining you lying next to me and it drives me mad thinking that it's only 11 more days before that becomes a reality.

Remember when I told you before that I loved the idea of being caught up in a storm? Two people isolated, stranded, having no choice but to spend the night out together until the storm breaks. I want to be stranded with you. Only with you. Through choice. No other person comes to mind when I think of that thought and I consider that moment of solitude, really sacred. And I would spend it with you and nobody else. 

Lying in bed, in complete darkness, wishing nothing more and nothing less, that silence shared between two lovers, in that intimate moment of congruency, where time does not seem to exist, responsibilities/desires/wishes do not exist, finding the most sacred comfort and peace with each other, while outside the ravaging storm, envious of our unity, strangely keep us stranded together.