that dorky guy at the end of the hall

I think it was under the bridge that we first kissed and held each other's breath under our eyes. Honestly, I still can't wrap my thoughts around the flow of emotions that ran across the surface of my skin at that moment. But probably it was something akin to meeting someone whose scent and touch felt so familiar. Confusion did catch me and that general stroke of fear that visit children once in a while as they embark on their first bicycle ride or probably when babies take their first steps. Surely, the probability of having met once before is highly unlikely and because I am generally not superstitious (though you know that I firmly believe in Astrology) I at once discounted the usual cliche of meeting soul mates. So what then? Love at first sight perhaps? Again, like any true-blooded cynic and pragmatist this was not possible. For the moment I will settle with the pure attraction of positively and negatively charged particles, chance encounter wrought by the perfect timing of our own past histories. 

And like many impetus for motion, one thing led to another without any expectation. Did I tell you that I secretly entertained the idea of you pursuing me and showing up on my doorstep the next day? So you don't know how pleasantly surprised and confused I felt the moment I saw you walking down the staircase. Did you by any chance catch a glimpse of that dog sitting by the doorway, mindfully observing the shifts of our gaze and the fluctuations of our breath. I couldn't help but notice those vigilant eyes that followed us till the end of the road as we approached the cobbled road around the church. What are you really? And how can someone without any kind of fear tackle the treacherous path of reckless romantic meetings? Don't you know that while everything flows spontaneously candid, precious and beautifully memorable, time will almost always betrays the original feeling that our bodies have shared because we human beings can never be satisfied with what we have. History and many life experiences have surely taught us that we always aspire for something more to our own demise. 

But what the hell, I know I love you. And haven't felt so sure my entire life especially about someone I have just met for three days. Each of those hundred kisses we shared carried pure ecstasy, happiness, joy, comfort and extreme pain and sadness. It may sound extremely unfair to have such little time, but i think we did pretty well on account that we were negotiating borrowed time. Of course, I am fighting off any temptations of entertaining a future only to preserve the integrity of the past. 

You have probably guessed that I am a compulsive writer as I am a talker. At this very moment I am simply filling up the space of this page only to distract myself from the truth of my loneliness and longing to with you, sharing the infinite space between our eyes, leaning my head on your chest, and held by your hand. I miss you so much and keep so dear the memory of your face in my head for fear that I might forget. For fear that I may lose what I had when you held me in your arms when I suddenly felt relieved of the years of loneliness and frustration that painted the routine of my life.

The day is about to end here, or rather the night has just begun. Out of the three parties I should go to I choose none. Here I am sitting, wondering if like the other day you are at the lake enjoying the sun and pleasant spring climate. Will you write me today? Or would you perhaps change daily routine by attempting to cook your own meal? Should I tell you about my day and risk boring you with the details of my life if only to have something to say? I don't know actually, all I know is that there is nothing now I wouldn't do if only I could touch your face and feel your heavy breath under my chest.

upper cases

hi as you can see my upper case doesn't work, funny ahh, will
not tell you how much it will cost me to only repair the
keyboard...around ___. yes...not funny at all, anyways will see
when you get here, if you need to use it, then will take it to the
store immediately after. thank you for being there yesterday, felt
really exhausted and didn't go to work today, tomorrow am going to
the homeopath, and i think i need to seriously think about my
calmness and my balance, will have to book the flight to ____, will
do it when you get here, more money going...i guess we will be staying
at home this weekend, if you need to write, i will then read and
relax...i appreciated you being there until so late for me, i think i
was getting out frustration and now i am tired and will go to sleep,
another schedule awaits me, another challenge ahead. yep will do my
best to open my heart and be there when you are here, you know i am
mostly out of tune with my own soul, and i believe i am a being that
is terribly lost and lonely in this great world...i am now calming
down, wish me good luck, as will work hard tomorrow... when you arrive
on friday you can directly come here, i will leave you the keys of the
room in the living room, small table drawer...you can relax then
before i arrive. seen tomorrow will be going to the homeopath, and
will check if you are online before i go to sleep, and then...you are
already here, see how time goes fast..kiss kiss,