Did you get home safe? Last night, clicking beer bottles was the only time I have felt most comfortable and less self-conscious around your strong masculine aura. I think I have been somewhat intimidated by you, you were of course once my professor how could I forget that? Maybe I have outgrown the anxiety of that little girl, at a point now that I can admit to myself and you how much I have loved you all those years of being apart, of avoidance, of saving face, denial and helpless wanting to sleep by your side. It must be all that traveling and misadventures that have brought me to be like this now or I could have just gone tired of feeling bad and lonely right after having you? For once I want to be 'happy' with you and enjoy your affection and attention, because for all those years my fascination has not wavered despite my constant prayers to be rid of it. Because all throughout those eight years along with many failed relationships and dissatisfied loves all I could really ever think about was you. Looking up the sky, completing each other's sentences, exchanging breaths, deeply-drawn sighs, silences and passionate stares... tempting indeed. But we both know that our love defies domesticity, it can never settle in one place, it is unbounded by time and this is why with deepest pain I accept the impossibility of being with each other if only to keep on to the promise of the love that we share.
You say its been long since we've both been naked yet last night of all the other nights we were most naked...
See you again in two years my star-gazer.
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