25.05.2009
While unpacking my bag last
night and going through each article of clothing carrying bits of sand I could not fight off the heavy lump forming inside my chest and think how terribly painful to be without you. Despite knowing that our resilience and love shall carry us through I can't help but feel this heavy sadness consuming my heart. Its as if the same immense happiness that I felt being with you the past week has been equally meet with with the immense sadness of being apart from you.
Words will only betray the way I truly feel at the moment: it is a complex combination of sadness, pain, joy, love and faith. I miss you so terribly. Still even so, with much pain I am also the happiest at the moment. Soon my love you will be my husband and we will never be separated ever again. This gives me the peace I have never ever felt in my entire life until this time. The same peace that shall carry me through as I navigate the following minutes, hours, days and week without you by my side. And when this time comes I will never be so happy and find so much simple pleasure in being your wife. Then we will have our ordinary life along with the happiness and peace we deserve.
The whole week being with you was an experience that has definitely changed my life forever. I am happy to share this with you and show you where I am, where I come from, my tradition, and my living reality. You know how extremely precious this is to me. You are the most beautiful being I have ever met! And now, while you are somewhere navigating the airspace and miles lying in between our bodies I am thinking of you, kissing you, praying that you are safe, and that my thoughts and love will keep you from the loneliness that face us. You know I always say that void is sometimes good, because ours is a positive void that allows us to take that leap of faith into life.
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